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Gary’s in the garage. There are lots of things out
there that I don’t want to know about. There’s a big empty freezer that in
season would have lots of good seafood and there are racks of mysterious
tools that get used when I manage to turn a faucet off too tight or put a
heavy box on the top shelf of my closet resulting in a big crash and a
ultimately a closet floor full of stuff that I forgot about years ago.
I’ve been good in recent weeks so there is only one reason he is out there
in The Netherworld … we’re going diving soon and it’s been months since
the dive bag was opened and the dive gear saw the light of day.
Last November, we didn’t really believe that our dive was the last one of
the year. We were sure the weather would hold and the holidays wouldn’t
take attention away from our first love. So now Gary is in the garage
facing a dive bag full of surprises. Sure, the gear was rinsed and hung on
hangers but maybe not as carefully as it would have been if we knew we
were facing the dry season so soon.
I’m thrilled that this is something he does regularly and does well. Every
time we go diving, he sorts through the gear and decides what we need for
the prevailing conditions. He knows that I’m always cold so he asks which
wetsuit I want to wear or in some cases, how many layers of wetsuit I want
to wear. He remembers that I whined about the broken zipper on my bootie
and that the mask strap I was using last year pulls my hair. He also knows
that I want the blue trimmed snorkel that matches the blue panels on my
wetsuit and the blue rim around my dive mask. He reminds me to check my
dive log to see how much weight I need with the layers of rubber I plan to
wrap my body in. Best of all, he shakes out the bag and booties and
wetsuits to scare out the creepy crawlies that may have taken up residence
over the past couple of cooler months. I’m guessing he wants to avoid the
little dance I do when I notice unwelcome motion in the toe of my bootie
after I’ve inserted my foot. I would be climbing to the top most point of
the dive boat if I discovered a cockroach in the dive bag.
Why do you care about the state of my garage and dive gear? While Gary
struggles with the physical debris of our dive locker, I get to sit here
and give advice on getting ready for the upcoming dive season. Many of you
may have braved the cold water and winter waves and your dive equipment is
still lubed and ready to go, but the averages say that you are in the
minority. Chances are that most divers in our area are facing the same
garage crisis and are trying to get everything ready for opening day. How
can you avoid the unpleasant surprises that we’ve all experienced early in
the season when a piece of dive gear fails to perform to our satisfaction?
Start here. Get your regulators over to your local dive shop for yearly
cleaning and maintenance. If you need new hoses, connectors, mouthpieces,
or any of those mysterious, tiny parts that keep the air flowing, get them
replaced now before you are depending on them for your life support. Check
the dates on your tanks to make sure your VIP and hydrostatic
certification is current. Pull off the tank boots to check for corrosion
and look for leaks around the tank valves. If you don’t have a good supply
of spare O-rings, stock up now instead of hoping that the dive boat has
extra for you to use.
Bite the bullet and squeeze your body into your wetsuit to see how it
fits. A winter of chili and chips might have changed the rubber dynamics a
little and you will have extra time to find a suit that fits or to drop a
couple of pounds to get another good season out of your favorite dress-up
outfit. Take a close look at zippers and Velcro fastenings and lubricate
anything that needs it.
Look at all of the straps that you are depending on to hold every thing
together. Fin straps rot and break, and mask straps do the same. Straps,
Velcro and metal connectors secure your dive knife, your various gauges
and many other bits and pieces of gear that are necessary to safety and
comfort so you need to be sure that are intact.
Your Buoyancy Compensation Device (BCD) – back in the old days, we called
them life vests – is one piece of dive gear that you can’t afford to
ignore. There are so many different styles and configurations that it’s
tough to give general advice but at a minimum, check the hoses for leaks
and make sure that all of the valves and seals are functioning correctly.
Hook it up to your newly maintained regulator and make sure it inflates
and vents as you expect it to. Leave it inflated for a day or so to make
sure it is holding air. More straps…check them all for wear and replace
anything that needs replacing.
Remember those little beads of lead you swept out of the garage with the
Christmas tree needles? Is it possible that they snuck out of the bucket
of soft weights sitting in a dark corner of the garage? Stock up on some
new soft weights in the sizes that you use most often.
There is one thing worse than opening your gear bag when you are 30 miles
out in the Gulf and discovering that you only have one fin. That would be
cruising along the bottom in 70 feet of water and discovering that your
regulator has pieces falling off and that hard to breathe feeling has
become an impossible to breathe reality.
If you spearfish, now is the time to check your spear guns and replace
anything that is worn or missing. If you are a photographer, you should
consider chipping off the ice and jumping into the pool for a test run of
your housing and lights. Stock up on spare parts while you can.
While your dive gear is having a little refresher opportunity at your
local dive shop, it would also be a good time for you to think about your
physical and mental state. The first time in the water after a few months
of dry rot can be a surprise to anyone. If the only exercise you get over
the winter months is pushing the button on the remote control to catch the
Super Bowl commercials or doing those 12-oz Bud power lifts, there is
still hope. I like to tell Gary that working in the yard is good physical
conditioning for the first dive. I’m not sure he believes me but anything
is worth a try. You don’t have to be Charles Atlas, and don’t even start
by asking me who that is, you just have to build up some stamina and get
your hibernating heart beating again. Walk a couple of miles a day, work
with some hand weights, or swim a few laps (those of you that have heated
pools). Rent a kayak and cruise around the local waterways. Do something,
do anything that makes you move out of that barca lounger.
I don’t know about the guys but I always believe that a nice haircut is an
essential part of my spring dive training routine. After all, you can’t
stand on the dive platform looking like something Godzilla pulled out of
the mouth of a Goliath Grouper! And guys, puleeze, ditch those paper thin
Speedos with the big hole in the rear that gives us way too much
information. You don’t have to shave your legs or paint your toenails pink
but we do like something nice to ogle between dives.
And now … LETS GO DIVING!
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